O_o WTF?!? Weird….
Welcome to Al-Udeid Air Base, Qatar… Enjoy!
Don’t be late… EVER!
Your first brief is long and boring… just like every briefing you will have the whole time
your day off is not exactly the greatest thing in the world
if you want to use your laptop… find an outlet.. FAST!
at night they show boobs on the fashion channel
soccer is the biggest thing over here… watch soccer
buy extra everything
walk on the sidewalks… unless you wanna f*ck your shoes up
save empty water bottles, they’re good for peeing in… well if you’re a guy at least
throw your full pee bottles away before you roommates see them
everybody uses Skype here… ignore their loud conversation as best as you can
the best time to take a shower is 11am
wear shower shoes
the walls of the stalls in the toilets are filled with homosexual and racist drawings and statements
using the media center phones to call home is pointless
don’t waste time looking for a lot of new magazines
don’t tell a female cop that she looks like Steven Seagal
bring your disconnected cell phone and charger… you’ll need the phone numbers
order what you need online as soon as possible
drop off laundry ever 2 days
call anyone you want a b*tch… it’s cool
don’t walk between the flag poles
get lots of sleep
the vegetables are bland at the chow hall
the milk spoils in 2 days
you’re a dumbass if you buy a laptop over here… or anything electronic for that matter
supply will give you anything you want… except airplane parts when you need them
TCNs have no clue that what they just said is racist… don’t attack TCNs
if you like it… it will break, be stolen, or be lost
just about everybody has porn if that’s what you desire
everybody also has either a Zune or iPod
the “Bra” has decent Internet service til the sun goes down… then you’re screwed
the BPC has the best Internet
wanna go home? or work? OPSTOWN bus is your best bet
if she’s a 6 at home she’s a 10 here… look around for confirmation
everybody complains except the jackasses who like it here… JACKASSES!
everybody stares at you… ignore them
don’t buy water… it’s everywhere
check your bank accounts often
yes they will dry clean your ABU pants aka the last thing you would ever want f*ckin’ dry cleaned!
if they’re a lot of cops at the gate, there is probably a cute female up there
there will be more shots to get
take as long of a shower as you want… nobody cares
you spend more time at work then you do at your dorm
there will be an a$$hole who thinks it’s a good idea to hide your ID card to “teach you a lesson”
do not “teach him a lesson” by hiding one of his tools til the last possible moment
speak to every cute girl… they love it
if you really really really really really need something… sorry… it’s out of stock already
Facebook chatting is the way to go
don’t spend your whole check on crap you wouldn’t buy back home
buy a $4 outlet converter… trust me
keep you fridge full of water at all times
if the lights go off… put in ear plugs to shut out that beeping noise
music will save your life
pay attention when you ride somewhere new
if you get a break, make the best of it
if someone looks upset… stand back!
unless you’re bigger than them… in that case, who gives a f*ck if they’re upset?!
if someone tries to stop you for something stupid, just run away… they won’t chase you
charge your devices
keep your room clean
don’t leave food out either
Jordan Battles looks like a bad porn star… a gay one!
there is some weird music over here… listen to it
wear your sunscreen white people
stop laughing at their sunburn black people
Deployment Flow circa Jan 2011